The Examined Life (so far) at 30

A Life of Wisdom in the Making?

Captured right after finishing this writing. December 29 - 2024

“It’s not by strength or speed or swiftness of body that great deeds are done, but by wisdom, character, and sober judgment. These qualities are not lacking in old age but in fact grow richer as time passes.” - Attributed to Cicero

Hello everyone. I’m writing this one just before my 30th birthday which falls on New Years Eve 2024. I usually don’t place much emphasis on birthdays, but with the year that’s in it, that has changed for me. The most important point of any life event is the ability to appreciate the journey and self-reflect on how you can better yourself for the next round of living, if fortune allows it.

As my attitude to writing and practicing Philosophy changes, I intend to share much more personal articles and write from experience. Starting with the piece below. As the title suggests, I’m examining what I’ve learned from turning 30 and how Philosophy and general life experience have helped me become a better person throughout the last 10 full years of adulthood in particular.

I’m no sage, more of a work in progress. Most of these points I’ve written both as a reminder to myself, and to share what I’ve experienced through living, travelling the world, and self-teaching after a long, but good stint of formal education.

In no order of importance; here are 30 points that I’ve learned in life and from practicing Philosophy.

*You’ll notice I’ve highlighted some sentences which link to articles on certain subjects I’ve covered in more detail.

1. ‘Are you a Stoic? No, no, just practicing’. I love this quote from Ward Farnsworth. Real Stoic practice has helped me through everything positive and negative in my 20s. Creating a sense of equanimity and balance in my life, regardless of outcomes. This comes from reading real original sources, from actual authors and bloggers. I list my sources of inspiration regularly.

2. Being tolerant with others, and strict with myself. The Marcus Aurelius reference is shining through here. As I’ve moved through the years, I’ve never got anything out of being a misery guts about or towards other people. Some people seem bad, some seem good. Are they trying to be? Maybe - or, are they simply doing what they think is just by their standards? That’s the real debate. All I know is that I am accountable for myself, so keep it in mind.

3. Balance is key to absolutely everything in life. This one is quite Zen Buddhist in nature. From health; to wealth; to routine; to eating; to work; to downtime; travelling; and now screen time. ‘Nothing to excess’ or to deficiency in any area. Still working on this, and will be for the rest of my existence.

4. Dialogue and tough conversations are key to flourishing relationships and friendships. Preferably in person. Effective communication. Get better at it. I’ve not achieved much in this way over the phone or in zoom calls - the impact came from embracing and meeting people. I know it’s not possible if you don’t share the same continent/area. But the impactful stuff comes from meeting in person and getting to the crux of it.

5. Fully embrace the advice of people who I respect and honour. I’ve started doing this over the last number or years, and it has paid off dividends for many areas of my life. With relationships, career, my routine and much more. I know very little in the grand scheme of things, and continuously aim to improve myself. Outside perspective is helpful from an internal standing.

6. Learning to follow that gut feeling about major life decisions. It’s an obvious one, but some of us choose to ignore it. I’ve become better at trusting my instinct after due thought and consideration. This comes easier with Philosophical practice in my opinion. Reason and rationale help make better decisions after all.

7. Take time most days to actually think about your life. It comes in many forms; writing and recording your thoughts, spending isolated time outside, sitting in a quiet room, or even in the shower. Self-reflection and self-guidance seem to be key to any school of Philosophy’s teachings, and for good reason. Learn about yourself and that inner voice. Again - working on this - and will be for the rest of my existence.

   All that is harmony for you, my Universe, is in harmony with me as well. Nothing that comes at the right time for you is too early or too late for me. Everything is fruit to me that your seasons bring, Nature. All things come of you, have their being in you, and return to you. – Attributed to Marcus Aurelius

8. Light, consistent exercise is super beneficial for every area of my life. It’s only been two full years of consistency with this one for me. Bodyweight strength combined with mobility/primal training have changed my life for the better and can be done virtually anywhere. Modern gym culture isn’t my thing, so I find this is a better alternative for me. Working on this - and will be for the rest of my existence.

9. Don’t follow the latest trends. I’ve found that if something’s too popular, it’s already carrying too much weight/hype. The best methods to most areas of our life often lie in simplicity and not over consuming. Our algorithms are trying their best to convince us otherwise, be wary of false prophets and the likes.

10. Developing critical thinking skills from Philosophy. This one really opened my eyes and sharpened my intellect. Ryan Holiday and others always say to trust the information you receive, but verify it with your own study and research. We need this one in today’s world more than ever.

11. Controlling time online. It’s said everyday, everyone knows it, but we fail to do so. You don’t need to busy yourself with other things either. Just take a step back when it’s not beneficial, i.e. when you’re scrolling aimlessly. This might be a new turning point for our civilisation and where we’re headed, one I’m willing to tolerate and use - but not fully embrace and succumb to.

12. Just go outside. If you’re not fit and able enough, get someone else to drag you along. No matter where you live. Look for green spaces and feel the universe around you. You are a part of it. Appreciate it. This has been more beneficial to me since I was a child than any other practice, book, course, seminar or anything. I’ll take it as my primary source of ‘self-help’, even over Stoicism. Go outside everyday, yes even on the horrible days.

13. Check in with those closest to you regularly. Yes, even if they haven’t phoned or texted you back. People are going through it these days, and connection has never been more important. It’s ironic how easy it is to connect with someone yet we feel so distant to some around us. Don’t let time pass by without at least trying to do so. It’s difficult to manage, but worth the pursuit.

14. Embrace and celebrate impermanence. I’ve struggled with this for my entire 20s. It’s why I started writing online in the first place. The anxiety and the sleeplessness it has caused in the past. Career, relationships, family, possessions, our world, yes even the universe, and ultimately your existence are not going to be around forever. So please try and enjoy your life - in whatever way you can. I know we all have different circumstances and lifestyles. Move with it - life is long if you know how to use it. Amor Fati as Nietzsche reminds us.

    Let us go to our sleep with joy and gladness; let us say: “I have lived; the course which Fortune set for me is finished” And if God is pleased to add another day, we should welcome it with glad hearts. That man is happiest, and is secure in his own possession of himself, who can await the morrow without apprehension. When a man has said: “I have lived!”, every morning he arises he receives a bonus. - Attributed to Seneca the younger

15. Discipline will take you far. Some of these points are commonplace, I’ve seen them written about a million times, but it doesn’t make this one less true. Much like my point above on balance - Discipline is the reliable old dog that needs walking and you are it’s only source of exercise. Do the right thing and exercise it, with multiple areas of your life. It’ll give you everything back and then some.

16. Be respectful/polite to all those you come across. Even if that person doesn’t give you the same courtesy. It’s an incredibly difficult one this. Something I’ve had to navigate, and persevere with. Some see it as a weakness, others as a strength. I’d like to think most of us know what it is to treat others with this principle, but we often forget. In the same train of thought - don’t be a pushover, you don’t deserve to be walked over or taken advantage of - remember point 3. P.S. This includes to yourself.

17. Everyday is a school day. Educate yourself beyond your schooling systems. Learn from others, from yourself and learn how to act. Take a course, read a book left of field from what you normally do, retrain in something. People are the best examples of this. With real-life experience. I’ve found that from everyone, no matter how different they are from me or my career path, I can take something away from and apply it to my own life.

18. Compete with yourself. Admiration and envy are weird first cousins, and there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to be better, and taking inspiration from others. Big one here - don’t spend too much time focusing on others and their possessions. They are usually already ogling someone else’s. The person you see in the mirror is the one that matters and what you choose to do and how to act will either benefit or be detrimental to them.

19. Character is key. Most ethics focused on ancient and modern Philosophies and Religions agree with this. ‘Show me your character and what good you’ve done’, we’ve heard this one quoted and thrown around over the years. I agree. How you treat others and act as a human being is more important than anything else. We’re all in the same big blue round vessel. So sit down and think about how you can go about improving your character and living a good life, that will, in time benefits others.

20. Passion and Verve are essential. If it wasn’t for my love and joy for electronic dance music. I wouldn’t have done my best to pursue a career in this, into my late teens and early twenties. I’m still in this field, thankfully. Find something you can deep dive into (without losing your head of course). Be prepared to shift trajectories, and lower your expectations at times. Not everything will work out as planned, but you can still have a great time doing so. Like many of my other points above, you’ll need a combination of them to achieve success in a field you are passionate about.

21. The need for a Creed / System / Faith to get through life. 100%. I’m not religious and haven’t been so for 15 years. When I found the Socratic Virtues, also known as the Cardinal Virtues in my early 20s. I knew it was the right guidance system for me to abide by. It’s not a shock to see that the article I wrote on them is my most viewed since I began. When you find what works for you, and take most value from. You’ll know. Will it change for me? Time will tell. I’m open to it.

22. Consume and covet less. My level of contentment has massively increased over the last number of years, when I set up realistic boundaries with this point. In my early 20s, I was shocking. Like most of us are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We grow up in a society driven by flexing our achievements and subsequent possessions. You don’t need to sell everything and live off the land, but think about what is really important in this regard. For me, it’s nothing I’ve been able to buy.

    …Wealth is able to buy the pleasures of eating, drinking and other sensual pursuits-yet can never afford a cheerful spirit or freedom from sorrow. - Attributed to Musonius Rufus

23. Perfection in any form is a myth. We set unusually high standards in many regards for ourselves and particularly for others you have no control over. I know some jobs and aspects of life require detail, thought and precision. But don’t torment yourself or others over an idealised version of perfection that is simply unattainable. Give yourself some slack, and others (see point 2).

24. Surety brings ruin. One of the maxims from the temple of Apollo in Delphi. I know this has multiple interpretations. My takeaway is - don’t assume you’re always correct, or be too sure of yourself in every regard. Be prepared for unexpected events, just like the ancient Philosophers told us to rehearse. Life isn’t linear or carved out, and you aren’t as clever as you might think.

25. ‘You’re fooling no one only yourself’. A follow on from point 24 - this is one of my favourite sayings from my Dad. I’ve learned this the hard way as well. Deception isn’t a long term strategy, especially for those around you. Lying to yourself, or others (I know lying can be interpreted in many different scenarios and forms). What I refer to is harming others or yourself for short term pleasures or swindling others. There are always people out there, who will cut through this, and who have far superior intellect or interpreting skills.

26. Ask for both help and advice. I learn from people of all ages. From my 7 year old nephew to wise elderly Philosophers. Older doesn’t always equal wiser. I might live on an island, but I don’t intend to act this way. Let the ego take a hit, and be willing to be that bit more open to receiving and taking on assistance. It applies to multiple areas of life. It took me a while to open up to this one, being quite independent by nature. Now I have no stigma, or shame in knowing that ‘I know nothing’ or little about subjects and life.

27. The value found in Criticism. This one is as tough for me as dealing with mortality. Life experience and reading about it have helped me considerably. At first, it’s hard to handle, especially from those you aim to ‘impress’ with your skillset, or worse from those you care for. Then there’s criticisms of your work; my music and writing, especially. I can only imagine how hard it hits others with great talent.
    
    After a while with gradual guidance and self-awareness, these come with ease. People have opinions, if you can distinguish which of these are well meaning and intentioned, and which are throw-away, you’ve cracked it. Takes time though. If I’m on the other end of this, rethink, or do it with grace. Life is tough enough.

28. If you give your word on anything. Keep it. Or instead don’t begin to speak about it in the first place. Another point of growth for me. These days I make a point of keeping my mouth shut if I can’t deliver on something. If I try and fail to do so, I am accountable for it, and should own up to the shortcoming. From massive work-related projects or simply to meeting up with someone. This applies across the board. I can guarantee you it’s always appreciated from the other side.

    "The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less.’’- Attributed to Zeno of Citium

29. Saying no more often. This one goes out to all of us. We don’t have to engage in every event, and occasion possible. Making effort is hugely important among our peers, colleagues and family. Obligations are to be met and considered. This was one I struggled more in my early 20s. Now I’m perfectly comfortable with not always being present. Carving out the space leaves room for better self-directed energy and further genuine effort with others down the line.

30. Legacy isn’t that important, so leave your ego at the door. From the original Gladiator film, ‘what you do now echoes in eternity’? Not like you might think. Life and our world is in a constant state of change. To think you’re important, that you’ll leave some lasting impact on the world is just your ego talking. Think of all the incredibly talented writers, poets, musicians, architects, leaders and civilisations we’ve never heard of or never will.
    
    I know that people use this as a major driving force, and it’s nice to be recognised and rewarded, but don’t think you deserve it without good reason. Start with the now, and how you can make an impact on those around you. The final say on your life will happen after you’re gone. And will be determined by the actions you take now and how you choose to live and treat your surroundings.

    …Consider the lives led once by others, long ago, the lives to be led by others after you, the lives led even now, in foreign lands. How many people don’t even know your name. How many will soon have forgotten it. How many offer you praise now – and tomorrow, perhaps, contempt. That to be remembered is worthless. Like fame. Like everything. - Attributed to Marcus Aurelius

If you’ve stuck with me this far, I just wanted to express my gratitude for taking the time to read this, and my other musings in 2024. I have some interesting things planned for next year, if fortune allows it.

It’s been a real eye opener for me this reflection, writing from the original source - myself. A proper workshop for the soul over the last few days.

I know my regular subscribers are a wide range of ages, and are in various stages of their lives, so if you have a point to share or expand on, please leave a nugget of wisdom in the comments below.

Until next time comrades,

Memento mori,

And a happy new year,

Enda (The Irish Stoic)

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What I listened to when writing this;

What I’m currently reading; Bushido the Soul of Japan - Inazo Nitobe.

Who I’d Recommend;

Einzelgänger

(Amazing videos for when I need a break from reading).

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